Ex-Husbandisms

Humans, we are creatures of habit, that’s our comfort.  But, our comfort is getting in the way of our joy, our true happiness, our purpose and bliss in life!   We all have our routines, but do you find yourself doing exactly the same thing each weekday and weekend?  It’s an easy trap to fall into. Most of us think we’re doing it willingly, but actually, we are doing it unconsciously.  It’s time to wake up and re-evaluate our daily decisions and choices and Go Unstructure ourselves!

All too often I hear things like, “I have to go to XYZ” or “I’m supposed to do X this weekend, but I just don’t want to.” Have you stopped to ask yourself who is making the decisions in your daily life? What if you took some time to choose what you wanted to do, instead of following up with all of life’s obligations?

If you feel like you are being pulled, instead of taking the lead in life, it’s time to take a close look at what you are doing and start to Unstructure Yourself!

So How Do We Shake Things Up & Start the Unstructure Process?

Step 1: Awareness: Take a look at your daily routine- does each step bring you joy or lead you to joy?  Are you doing things that make you feel good, happy, light, and free?  

This way of thinking is what lead me to my divorce, and it happened from one day to the next.  Something just clicked and I remember thinking, no, this isn’t working for me anymore. Here I am supposedly happily married with three young children, and a job as a banker working for a large financial institution and from the outside, it looked like I had a wonderful life.  However, on the inside, I was slowly dying. The person that I came into this world to be, was slowly fading into someone else’s preconception of how things are “supposed” to be.

The more I thought about the way people saw me and how I saw myself, the more I realized, these two versions of myself were quickly moving in polar opposite directions.  Once I became aware of these discrepancies, I realized what I needed to do.

Step 2: Follow Your Heart, with confidence, and let yourself fall apart - My divorce is where my unraveling started.  It made me think about things like,

“if I’m making the wrong decisions about something as important as my life partnership, then where else am I making the wrong decisions and choices?”.   This is where the doubt crept in. How had this all happened to me? Who was I truly? Sometimes, it takes us falling apart and unraveling, to put the pieces back together in the correct way, the way our hearts are so desperately calling for. So I let myself fall apart, and then slowly began to build my confidence, and follow my heart. For the first time in my life, I was taking the lead.

For me, it started with something big (divorce) and trickled down to the smaller things, but sometimes, it can start with the small things, and leads up to the larger things.  Where did the unraveling start for you? Has it started yet? Have you started to unstructure yourself in a way that lets your heart take the lead? If you have, you are ready for step 3!

Step 3: It’s Time to Work On Me!  - After you become aware of your responsibility to yourself in life (step 1), the following steps start to take shape. Awareness is the beginning, then the unraveling, and then the fun begins! It’s time to work on you. Who is it you are born to be? What makes you smile? What are you passionate about? What parts of yourself have you not uncovered yet? It’s time to find out, and spend the rest of your life discovering who you are.

What I have learned over the past four or so years or “working on myself” is that I came into the world to be safe, bold, happy, free, fulfilled and at peace.   All of those things come easily to me now, but only through a series of many, many conscious choices. Some of those choices were hard at first, but I guarantee, it is totally worth it!  After all, it’s only your life and your ultimate happiness we’re talking about.

Step 4: Helping Others!  - It is not until our own cup is filled that we are able to give to others. So now that you have discovered yourself, your passions, and joy, you can use these gifts to help others. This can be done any number of ways but the point is, first we must take care of ourselves, and when we are ready, we can then begin to help others with a full heart.